We’ve had plumbing problems at home this week.
It’s been disorienting to stumble into the bathroom at 5 a.m. to brush my teeth and to be shocked by running water splashing around my ankles.
This puts Alf into a panic. Computers are his field, not pipes.
Our solution: buy another vanity. 
We went to Lowe’s armed with tape measures. We looked professional. We measured the vanities on display. We chose a very circumspect one, cherry brown with a white marble top. We hunted down a live sales person. He checked the inventory on the computer. It said they had two in the store. He began to look. Up and down the aisles he went. Nothing. Finally I asked him what the product number was, and now there were two of us, and then three with Alf. We stretched our necks searching for box # 400897 at a height of an eagle in a tree. Several strained necks later we returned to the computer to discover it had lied to us. There were two vanities, but one was a return because it was damaged, and the other was the display we had measured. How many others had measured it, kicked it, and shimmied it? We were not going to buy that one, but I was tempted to ask if we could get a discount on it. Nope, I didn’t do it. Our salesman was not to be daunted, so he called another store, and found a new one. So we put it on hold, dashed over there, confirmed they had told the truth, and paid for it.
This took the better part of the morning.
Our wonderful neighbor, a whiz at fixing all things broken and a truck owner, picked up the vanity with Alf and dragged it into the house. Like a moth to a flame, Ed’s attention was immediately drawn to the problem with the old vanity. After examining it he declared he could fix it. Why spend $400 on a new vanity when he could fix the old one for $32. So off he went to the hardware store, chose new parts, came back and got to work. What should have been a few hours turned into two days, with several additional trips to the store, but when he finished I had brand new, shinny silver pipes guaranteed never to leak a drop of water on me again no matter what time of day or night. Then Ed and Alf schlepped the new Lowe’s wonder back to the store to be returned to its black hole in the sky.
Calvin says, “You guys are ridiculous. What’s wrong with the hose out in back and one of the trees to pee on?” 
Calvin & Bloggie 
I hope you liked your old vanity. Of course, I think I’d love mine, too, if it didn’t leak and saved me a couple hundred dollars.
Visiting from yeah write.
all you need is a helpful neighbor to get rid of your misery! thanks for your kind comments!
I have never experienced a home improvement project to go as planned! It’s some weird universal energy sponsored by DIY stores that makes it that way, I swear it!
you’re right, I suppose it’s planned that way so you spend more money and worry a lot more too!
Ugh, I hate home improvement. We did so much of it as a kid, I’m burned out on it…
Visiting from yeah write.
anything plumbing burns me out!
Ha! I’ve been there. Plumbing is one of those things that make me want to just throw money at them until they goes away. 🙂 (visiting via yeahwrite.me!)
that’s why I was ready for a new vanity!
Calvin makes a good point…
hahaha!
Ah, good thing your problem was solved at a much lower price (not factoring in the friendship and goodwill involved). 🙂
We have some flooding problems here – (1) leaky heating pipes have wasted hundreds and gallons of water for us this winter; (b) the heavy rains of the last few days and the snow melt successfully worked together to add to the already wet basement (and to make matters worse, the pump does not work well anymore). Ayay! the travails of home maintenance.
I’m so sorry to hear of your trials with your home this season. What a mess! I hope things dry up soon and you’re able to tackle the most important pipes!