At a cafe. Late morning. Two writers.

Man: I heard a story just the other day of a woman who swallowed her contact lenses.

Woman: That’s hard to believe.

Man: She had woken up in the middle of the night and was thirsty and drank the contact lens bottle thinking it was the bottle of water.

Woman: Did the insurance cover that?

Man: Stupidity?

Woman: You never know.

Man: The next day she groped everyone at work and caused a fuss.

Woman: Did they send her to the eye doctor?

Man: No. They sent her home in a cab with a case of bottled water.

Calvin says, “Hm…I just thought of something. Dogs don’t have eye doctors. That could explain why we don’t come when you call us.”