Come Hither

A father and college-age son. At a café.

Dad: Take some literature classes when you get to college. Stories will save your life.

Son: How so?

Dad: You’ll learn how to communicate and you’ll avoid counseling when you’re married.

Son: What if I only want to take science classes?

Dad: You’ll have a tough time as a husband and father. Your children don’t come out of the chute speaking geek. And your wife will need to learn this language in order to know who you are, and she’ll be too busy with the kids, do you want to put her through that?

Son: Geez, I had no idea being an engineer would be so hazardous to my future.

Dad: Not if you mix it up with some Shakespeare, some poetry, and some good fiction.

Son: That will delay my getting out of school.

Dad: I’ll pay for the delay. It’s my investment in your marriage and my grand kids.

Son: Thy should’st not worry, father. I resolve to mark your words.

Calvin says, “That explains why I only speak hound. I wish my dad had recommended Peanuts and Winnie the Poo to me.”

Conversations on the Run1

These are some overheard conversations on the U.C. Berkeley today:

“Hello? Hello? Why aren’t you talking to me?” said a student on her cell phone. She was wearing a tight-fitting, neon pink hoodie. “I guess this is our relationship.”

“You know, I don’t care about politics, or about the environment, or about terrorism, or about pesticide-free farming, but I so care about the orangutan,” a tall, blond man said to his walking companion. “I’m going to do everything I can to get people to care about the orangutan even if I spend my whole life doing it.”

“I’m an agnostic,” one Asian student said to another. “I didn’t come here to find out if I’m wrong.”

“Oh look! There’s Lee in the Cal poster. She still hasn’t come down yet,” a young woman said pointing to the poster as she walked to class with her friends.

“Why do you take your dog to class?” an older woman asked the other. “Because he needs an education, too,” the other said.

“They named the band Dead Skeletons,” a male student with long, flowing hair in a black coat and shirt said to another guy with a guitar. “Kinda gothic-like.”

Calvin says, “A higher education? Sounds like these people are high already.”