It’s Thanksgiving this week, when most cooks in America freak, call a supermarket and order a pre-made turkey.

It’s funny because we’ve become a nation of foodies. Or at least the Food Network would have you believe that.

Have you noticed how many new cooking shows have come on the scene lately?

Children are now competing like the big chefs. They’re having to deal with the likes of Gordon Ramsey breathing fire down their little small necks.

How about the Holiday Baking Competition that’s running right now? They just kicked off the only experienced contestant older than Duff. All the rest are amateurs sweating their brains out as they pound sugar dough into holiday disasters, I mean desserts.

Why do we complicate things?  

Can’t we just rinse a bird under running water, pat it dry, throw it in a pan and roast it in the oven? Four hours later it’s brown and done.

What’s so difficult about blanching string beans in a hot boiling water? Throw a stick of butter on them once they’re drained and in a dish, and voila, you have your green.

Then bake some potatoes alongside the bird. Don’t let the mashers control you.

The stuffing might be a bit daunting, but don’t fret. All it takes is lots of butter, celery, onions and cubed breadcrumbs. Then toss in a mound of savory seasonings, some vegetable broth, mix it all together in a bowl, pour the mixture into a baking dish and cook it alongside the bird and the potatoes.

Follow the directions for homemade cranberry sauce on a package of fresh cranberries or buy it at the store. It comes in a can.

And there you have it. Pour yourself a glass of wine or two, kick back and relax. You’re done.

Calvin says, “You’re not done until you toss me a turkey leg sans gravy because you don’t know how to make it.”