Add a Heart

I hate it when a warehouse store moves its shelves around and I can’t find the items I typically buy. It’s torture. It adds extra minutes to my shopping. I walk my 10,000 steps just trying to find the peanut butter. They should pay me for confusing me and making me go around in circles.

Being the day before Valentine’s Day, vendors were parked at every aisle handing out chocolates, cheese, and ravioli bites. Perfect ingredients for your loved one. How come there’s never any samples of bagels, lox and cream cheese? Or champagne and lobster tails for that special someone? But there’s always the man with the high-powered blender ready to make you a green smoothie.

I’ve noticed the book aisle is now shoved by the back wall where you can’t find it. I guess books are not money makers even if you are James Patterson and Clive Custler.

The clerk at the check-out told me a story of a family with a six-year old daughter. It was the child’s birthday and nobody showed up to celebrate it. So the family scooped her up and brought her to the store for pizza and cake. I wondered how many miles they had to walk to find those items. They were moved to make way for buckets of roses and heart-shaped cookies.

Calvin says, “The stuff you fret over. What’s wrong with a bone and a snuggle?”

 

Carry On As Usual

Overheard conversations in the office this week:

“I have a rat in the house I can’t get rid of.”

“Have you tried peanut butter in the trap?”

“Yep. The bugger shook the trap, turned it upside down, and scarfed up the peanut butter.”  cropped-photo134.jpg

“Savvy rat.”

“I heard him in the living room wall while watching TV.”

“Coat the electrical wires from the outlet in peanut butter, and then turn on the lights.”

“I’ll set my house on fire.”

“But you’d get rid of the rat.”

“My cat is still spooked from the move.”

“So re-move him.”

“When the property management for my condo complex finds out we’re looking at other management companies, it will go over like a turd in a punchbowl.”

Calvin says, “I’ll sniff out the rat. I’ll pin it into a corner and bay my guts out. I’ll be so loud, the neighbors will think I’m being murdered.” beagle